we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
