I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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