trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
