so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
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just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
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She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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