hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
