turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I think my moral compass just broke
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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