i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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