Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
