After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
