i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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