I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
