Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
