I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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