someone get that fucking seahorse.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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