3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
That's intense
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize