Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
