Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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