that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
