I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
