I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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