just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
