I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
