ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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