Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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