508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
