i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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