Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
