Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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