i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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