We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
