She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
