so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
