...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
