I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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