Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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