Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
