youre lurking in front of me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
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i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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