is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
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