you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
