I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just want to make out with him forever
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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