so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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