none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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