I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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