i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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