I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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