so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
