You're my little dorito
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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