Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
