home. puking in laundry basket.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sext me about skeletons
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize