no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
