so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Barsexuality is the new black.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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