Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
