Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i've created a new STD.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
