I just saw a hot homeless man
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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