3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
