just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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