I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Damn victory sex feels great
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
