Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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