We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
