I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
