plz talk dirty to me
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
