The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just found puke in my bra..
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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