ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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