Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
