i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
