I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
