He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
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If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
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the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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